Through the year of writing my book, Unfinished Business, I came to realize how much I take for granted and how much power I attribute to myself to change things. There is truly so little over which we have control, but for many of us control is the one thing over which we attempt to maintain a tight hold. Such a fallacy, such hubris. We can’t make someone love or accept us, no matter how hard we try or how badly we want it. People are mere humans, and feelings won’t be dictated and can’t be manipulated. Feelings are raw, random and spontaneous.
Family will let you down, friends will disappoint, loved ones will leave, and sometimes people will die before we’re ready to let them go. The most we can do is pay attention to those we love and who love us in return, let go of those who choose not to accept us or find a place for us in their lives, and give ourselves permission to feel what we feel. Find family where you can, in people who exhibit the characteristics you value in family: support, encouragement, admiration…those who will be your cheerleader and champion as you move through the ups and downs of life…who will celebrate your victories and grieve your losses. That’s family, and I’m thankful I have a group of friends who are my sisters and brothers. I don’t know what I’d do without them. My life would surely lack the luster, laughter and fun they bring to it.
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